I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i think i just lost a toe
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
