he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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