Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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