That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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