Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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