It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
