Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
