Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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