Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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