Tell her she can't have a vagina
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
