last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
