I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
