I smell stomach acid.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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