could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
