I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
