i wish starbucks made bloody marys
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
