I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
