Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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