Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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