We got so high we made milksteak
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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