I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
BRING THE BAGELS
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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