Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
