OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
