And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
