we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
