mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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