Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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