is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
