Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
