did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
