The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
