hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
