YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
