Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
