Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
