woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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