mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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