if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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