I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
