I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
