my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Congratulations! We have a period
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