Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
