Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
