Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
