My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
