i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
