I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
