theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't deserve a penis
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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