So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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