...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
