Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
